i'm writing to you in hour i yearn the most. no way to hear, see, or shout out to you. it's been a while since i've heard the odyssey that is your voice. i call out at you; you can't hear me. i reach out to touch you; you can't feel me. an emptiness in my stomach creeps up. i try to fight it away...lives thrown in the air, shuffled about; no idea where they'll land. this lump in my throat won't go away. to detach myself from what i've only known is to lose a bit of who i am. i feel that the piece gone is only one of many i've dropped along the way. in this i find comfort: knowing i've done this before. a piece of me is left everywhere i go. it doesn't hurt much anymore. the pain has lost the sting; the feeling remains the same...the emptiness comes around again and i miss you...

low and under the weather, sleeping in the damp cold, doing whatever it takes to keep going. my rope is getting close to its end. the fear in the back of my mind is ever increasing: the shadow is starting to engulf my hope. i truly do not know how long i can go on like this. if there ever was a time for a miracle, or a savior, it's now. i pray in my head to someone i hope hears me, but i feel like i'm just talking to myself. something's gotta give soon or i'll have to hang it up. I don't want them to be right all along....